Wilted Flowers, Revived

A couple of weeks ago, one of the kindergarten students in my class brought me a sunflower from her garden. I put it in a water-filled vase and placed it on a shelf in the classroom.

If you haven’t been around children much, let me tell you — they are incredibly observant. My family or friends may not notice a new haircut, pair of shoes, or outfit, but my students will 100% notice and comment as soon as they enter the classroom. So, I wasn’t surprised when they began noticing that the sunflower stem and leaves were drooping within a few days. What surprised me, however, was a question I received from one of the students:

“Ms. B, how do we fix it and make it stand up tall again?”

I’m no gardener, but I thought surely there was no way to revive the flower. So I decided to go with the flow and seek out their responses. “That’s a great question! What do you think?”

“Take it outside to get some sunshine!”

“Maybe the flower’s cold. Let’s put it by the heater!”

“We need to water it every day!”

“Putting it in a pot with soil could help!”

However, the best response came at the very end of our discussion.

“Let’s Google it!”

My ears perked up! I thought, now I don’t have to be the one to break the harsh truth to them- Google would do the dirty work for me.

So, I turned on the projector, gathered the students on the carpet, and collectively Googled: ‘Can dying flowers be revived?’

To my surprise, the answer was yes! Maybe this is common knowledge, but I had no idea that this was possible. All we had to do was snip a bit of the stem and put it in freshwater with some flower preservative, and voila! The flower would be good as new! My students and I became invested in reviving this sunflower. We excitedly began following all the required steps. It’s been a week and a half now, and I’m happy to announce that our sunflower is starting to look healthier and happier!

I keep thinking about how this impromptu class project started: how it took one child to care enough to ask, “How do we fix it?”

The sunflower can be a lot like our mental health and well-being. If our mental health was as tangible as the sunflower, I bet any 4-year-old would notice it withering away. We adults, though, are not as observant. We learn to stop noticing or caring about the little things as we get older — whether in our own lives or others.

All it takes is a thought. Just for a moment, pause and think about your mental health and well-being. How are you doing, really? I reflected on my daily conversations with others. I quickly looked through my WhatsApp and other social media history to see how many times I or others have asked this very simple question. Unfortunately, the answer is too disappointing to reveal.

Talking about mental health has become the giant elephant in the room that many avoid. It may be difficult for us to open up, for we may fear judgment from others. Or, if we have opened up, we may not have been met with the positivity or support we desperately needed. Sometimes, we’re focused on what others think about us or how we compare to others and lose focus on doing what matters most to our wellness and happiness. Without a doubt, many, many factors influence why we don’t talk about our mental health.

If anything, this classroom project has taught me three important lessons. The same steps we followed to revive the sunflower can remind us that our mental health is essential and equally deserving of revival. We wouldn’t let a broken arm go untreated, so why do we so easily allow an escape from focusing on our mental health?

Lesson 1: Snipping Away the Negative

To revive the sunflower, we first snipped some of the dead stem, which was inhibiting water absorption and its growth.

I remember a time growing up when I was surrounded by ‘friends’ keen on saying anything and everything they thought-even if it meant hurting someone. I remember being told I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or skinny enough. Did those words hurt? They most certainly did. They cut so deep that I refused to look at myself in the mirror, fearing that those words would be true.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

This proverb couldn’t be further from the truth. I knew I needed to make changes in my life- if my happiness was something I valued. The concept of antardrashti, or introspection, was taught and practiced by my Guru Pramukh Swami Maharaj. It became paramount to me during such moments. Antardrashti allowed me to focus on my inner thoughts and gave me the strength to leave my so-called friends and form healthy relationships founded on respect. It shifted my thinking to being more positive and finding those who supported this positive mindset. It allowed me to snip away the negative influence in my life over time.

Lesson 2: Changing our Perspectives

To revive the sunflower, we then put the sunflower into freshwater.

Sometimes, we need to make changes based on new perspectives and revelations. Ships don’t sink because of the water surrounding them. They sink because of the water that gets into them. After handing over my marked essay on Hamlet, a high-school teacher once told me, “You’ll never be as great of a writer as your sister.” I was shocked to receive such feedback, and it infuriated me to think I would always be compared to my siblings. Anything I did would be labeled as insignificant. I remember going home, angry at my sister for setting such high, unachievable standards, but also that I had let someone rattle my confidence in my own abilities. I had tried hard. I had also received help from my sister, who had selflessly imparted her wisdom. So, why was I angry?

Sometimes we allow our environment and circumstances to weigh us down. If we can make an effort to change the way we look at things each day, the things we look at change (Wayne Dyer). It could be a change in how we think, view the world, or ourselves. I knew I had done everything I could. As my Guru says, ‘Do your best, and leave the rest.’ I knew that I’d commit to working harder the next time around with that thought. This change in perception was my analogous revival of placing the sunflower into freshwater.

Lesson 3: Making Time for Things that Matter

Lastly, to review the sunflower, we added flower preservatives to provide it with the nutrients it needed to grow healthy again.

These past few years of the Covid-19 pandemic haven’t been easy as a nurse. When Covid-19 hit, it hit hard. Everything shut down, including a part of myself. I was exhausted and burned out. I detached myself from family and friends to reduce the burden. But what I discovered was that reclusiveness, in fact, didn’t solve anything. Instead, it was clear that something needed to be added- a change that would help me foster good mental health. For me, this came in the form of rekindling my love for prayers.

During these prayers to God, I don’t ask for anything tangible. Instead, I ask for the mental clarity, strength, and peace of mind to help me through challenges. Making time for prayers was synonymous with making time for me. It allowed me to pause and reflect on my life to keep me connected with what mattered.

Practice the pause.

When in doubt, pause.

When anxious, pause.

When stressed, pause.

When tearful, pause.

And when you pause, pray.

Prayer may change something. Prayer may change nothing, or it can change everything. But one certainty is that it changed me and provided me with mental stability.

No matter your mental health state, perhaps pause and ask yourself, “How am I really doing? Or, can I fix it? Seek support as needed. Be patient. Be forgiving. And perhaps we too can be revived, like our sunflower!

Story Written By: Shailja Brahmbhatt, Teacher
Co-authored by: Preetal Makan, Nurse