Never Taken a Selfie

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We recently took a family trip to Chicago and felt compelled to go to the large, reflective legume-shaped art work in Millennium Park fondly referred to as “The Bean”. When we got there, we saw hundreds of people waiting to find an open spot close to the art piece — most wanting to take a “selfie.” We were no different, and after 10–15 minutes, we finally were able to wiggle our way to the front and took a shot of ourselves.

Selfies have been around since 2010, just as smartphones with cameras began catching fire. The word “selfie”, however, wasn’t recognized by the Oxford dictionary until 2013 by the Oxford dictionary, but the word grew in such prominence in a short period of time, that 2014 was declared “The Year of the Selfie”.

• In 2022, 4% of all photos taken are selfies
• 92 million selfies are taken every DAY
• 50% of all Millennials have posted a selfie
• 82% of all young adults under the age of 35 have taken a selfie
• 52% of adults have never taken a selfie
• 50% of teens edit the selfie before posting
• 52% of selfies are about appearance

At the end of the day, selfies are about the “Self”. What I look like. Where I am. Where I’ve been. Who I’m with. What I’m doing.

In a 2013 Time Magazine article, “Millennials: The ME ME ME Generation” , columnist Joel Stein wrote that individuals from 2009 vs those from the 1980’s were much more narcissistic. The study, and in turn the article, mentions that individuals are more focused on themselves as compared to the past. As a society, we were becoming more and more self focused.

This “Selfie Generation” is one that has grown up with a sense of “self”, with a focus on themselves. For some, it seems narcissistic, and to others, it seems normal. It has become commonplace for us to be oblivious to those around us while we focus on our perfect selfie. The lighting, the angle, and the pose must be perfect. The 100 people waiting to take a picture at that spot be damned! (because they too are going to do the same thing.) It’s about “Me”. It’s “My” pic. It’s “My” time. “I” was here. “I” am the focus!

With the onslaught of selfies, came the advent of “fake” lives. I would argue Shakespeare foresaw our current situation when uttered those famous words “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players (on social media)”.

Social media has so much utility and allows individuals to express themselves in ways never before imaginable. With a quick press of an icon, people express themselves, show off their lives, and exhibit their creativity and their skills to the world. Unfortunately, many will not show what their life is like but rather show an illusion and show you a filtered and edited reality. Social media for many is a mask and a way to show a different, not necessarily accurate, version of “you”.

If the selfie is the epitome of a narcissistic society, then what is the opposite of that? What is true humility? Where can we find an example of someone who has never taken a selfie — be it through a camera, through words or through deeds? For me, I see that in my Guru, Pramukh Swami Maharaj.

Pramukh Swami Maharaj never thought of himself. His life was always about others. Teaching others, helping others, serving others. Pramukh Swami Maharaj had never taken a selfie of any kind.

At the age of 51, he was appointed the spiritual leader of the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Sanstha and until his passing in August of 2016, at the age of 94, he accomplished so much. He never took credit for any accomplishment, but rather, would give credit to others — God, his gurus, and even his followers. He never focused on himself.

He’s gifted the world with 1,100 mandirs (Hindu places of worship) and over 1,000 sadhus. He’s transformed millions of lives for the better through his anti-addiction campaigns. He’s uplifted tribal communities, inspired women’s activities, and directed disaster relief operations. He’s been honored and felicitated almost every day of his 45 years as guru. However, if someone pays a compliment, without a moment’s hesitation, he’ll say “It’s all due to the grace of God and his gurus.”

Once, Deepak Jhaveri, a reporter for the India Post in the United States, interviewed Pramukh Swami Maharaj. He asked “Don’t you ever tire from the constant travel and your organization’s growth?”

Swami replied, “It is God’s work. I don’t believe that I am doing anything. It is all due to the guru’s blessings and God’s inspiration. You only feel the burden on your head if you try to carry a pot of water. If you swim in the ocean, thousands of gallons of water are above your head but you don’t feel a thing. Similarly, you should always pray to God saying, ‘You are doing everything through me.’ God will guide us through success and failure. You can work in a way that pleases him and produces results that please everyone.”

Deepak replied, “Humility is at the foundation of your organization…”

I would take it a step further and say…this is a result of humility being the foundation of Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s life.

His life was all about others. That is why his most famous quote and his life’s motto was “In the joy of others, lies our own”. His life was centered around helping others, bettering others, uplifting others, and always without the need of a selfie.

It is this sense of humility that sets the tone by which I and many others strive to live our lives. When you lead a life of humility and selflessness , you act and lead with a sense of understanding. Putting yourself in others’ shoes. This is also the basis of the movement behind servant leadership.

For me, I have seen the positive effects whenever I keep this concept at the forefront of my thoughts. In my career, it means putting myself in the shoes of others. I am reminded of a quote once uttered by Nelson Mandela, “Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in the front” — the crux of servant leadership.

It has helped to bring strength and unity in my family and helped to decrease conflicts. I don’t have to be right, I don’t need to tell someone I told them so. I don’t place expectations on others. It has also helped me with my relationship with God. If we are humble then we will be cognizant of God’s will and therefore, live our lives accordingly. We learn to not use our own logic to rationalize God’s teachings and therefore, never question his direction, commandments, and wishes.

Humility is key… not the selfie!

Mitesh Patel, Atlanta, GA
Entrepreneur