My Guru’s Words

When it comes to managing our day-to-day interactions with one another, most of us can often be described as complicated. We all have within us an enormous capacity for humility, kindness, goodness, courage, generosity, kinship, and friendship. And at the very same time, in the very same mind, body, and spirit, we all have the capacity for arrogance, anger, envy, indifference, selfishness, and greed. In navigating our personal relationships, sometimes we are deliberate and thoughtful, and sometimes we are impulsive. Sometimes we are easily angered, and sometimes we are calm. Sometimes we care about the impact we have on others, and sometimes we care less. Sometimes we see the virtue in our family, friends, co-workers and neighbors, and sometimes we drown in hostility towards them. Sometimes we are truthful, and sometimes we are a bed of lies. Sometimes we are optimistic about our relationships, and sometimes we feel hopeless.

I doubt it is an exaggeration to say that on most days, most of us are genuinely trying to land on the right side of these internal conflicts. Most of us likely lean towards, as the often-invoked expression declares, summoning our better angels. However, it is also not likely an exaggeration to say that most of the time, even with the best of intentions, we fail. Our minds are a battlefield. The good and the bad inside of us fight every day to see which will claim victory over the other. Our darker impulses frequently overwhelm us. My mind wrestles with personal conflict as all of our minds do. There are (many) times when my temper gets the better of me; times when I’m agitated by the faintest of slights, even if they are unintended; times when I allow small differences to become intractable grievances; times when I criticize instead of lending support; and times when my own fears and insecurities twist my mind to see illusions as reality.

In navigating these sometimes immensely difficult internal challenges, in trying anxiously to do right by those around me, and in pledging to heal not hurt, these are the words that, in my life, have made the difference between love and hate, unity and division, understanding and anger, patience and intolerance:

In the joy of others lies our own,
In the progress of others rests our own,
In the good of others abides our own,
Know this to be the key to happiness.

These are the soothing words of my Guru, Pramukh Swami Maharaj, whose life was defined by faith, forgiveness, empathy, harmony, love, and selflessness. Pramukh Swami Maharaj was the spiritual leader of the BAPS Swaminarayan Sanstha (at its heart, Sanstha means fellowship), until his passing in 2016. He lived until the age of 94, and this year our Sanstha is celebrating the 100th anniversary of his birth. Pramukh Swami Maharaj was the fifth spiritual successor to Bhagwan Swaminarayan, our deity, our God, in whom Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s faith was absolute, pure, unbounded, and unshakable. And Pramukh Swami Maharaj shared his faith with us, in every moment, in every encounter, in every conversation, in every letter he wrote, and in every word he spoke.

Pramukh Swami Maharaj never once in his life thought of his own wellbeing. His was a life of humility, devoted to service — service of his own gurus, Shastriji Maharaj and Yogiji Maharaj, service of Bhagwan Swaminarayan, and in equal measure, service of all the devotees of BAPS. The inspiring reality is that in the joy of others was his own. He dedicated his life to Bhagwan Swaminarayan and to us. He spared no effort to uplift our lives, our spirits, and our souls in every way that he could. Millions had — and continue to have — deep faith in his divinity. Despite the vast numbers who reached out to him in a moment of need — both in joy and distress — wherever he was in the world and wherever we were, in that moment of hardship or of cheer, he was only a phone call away, and he would always send a personally handwritten letter with words of blessing and guidance. In every communication and correspondence — whether in person or in writing — Pramukh Swami Maharaj helped to heal those who may be suffering and shared in the delight of those who may be celebrating. And in all of these moments, Pramukh Swami Maharaj asked us to remember that whichever path our lives had taken or will take, we are guided by the loving hand of Bhagwan Swaminarayan and to always keep faith in this understanding.

Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s life was the symbol of peace, humanity, reconciliation, compassion, and truth. In the discourses he gave throughout his life, Pramukh Swami Maharaj asked us to embrace these values, helped us to understand that this was the pathway to the joy that we could bring to others, and ultimately, the pathway to our own personal redemption and salvation. Pramukh Swami Maharaj did not simply proclaim “In the joy of others lies our own.” In every moment of his life, he was the living example of this profound guiding principle.

Despite my faith in and love for Pramukh Swami Maharaj, and despite understanding the fundamental importance of his words, I have found that in many moments of my life it has been challenging to live by my guru’s words. I know that I can be petty, vain, temperamental, impatient, and many other things that any of my family, friends, or colleagues could describe in infinite detail. But I have found that in those moments where I am drawn to my darker instincts, remembering Pramukh Swami Maharaj and remembering the example of his life is an inspiration to do better. And I find this inspiration most powerful in the moments that I spend in our temple, our mandir, where I feel Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s presence the strongest. As much as I understand Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s words, as well as other teachings of our gurus and our God, I know that what is in our heads does not easily make its way into our hearts. I have come to appreciate that their words and the examples of their lives have to be contemplated, reflected upon, nurtured, tended to, reinforced, and experienced in ways that it is only possible to do when I am in my mandir.

My mandir is itself a source of immense personal joy. When I say my mandir, I mean my spiritual home, my sanctuary, and my place of worship, where, upon every visit, my faith and my connection to Pramukh Swami Maharaj and his words are renewed and deepened. From the moment I arrive and catch the first glimpse of the magnificent architectural structure, invoking a connection to our Hindu heritage, culture and history, I am overcome. I know that once I enter, a fulfillment that I can only find in this one place will surround me. As I step inside, I see our swamis, more familiar in western terms as our clergy. As they see me, I am greeted immediately by that very familiar heartfelt warmth and welcoming embrace. When we meet, I feel our connection. We talk. Over the years, my conversations with our swamis have spanned the full range of my life’s experience. When I see them, I am reminded of the many times that they have prayed with me and for me, and I know in my heart that their prayers have made the difference between joy and anguish. Our swamis don’t just convey our guru’s message, they live by it. They are my connection to Pramukh Swami Maharaj, our present guru Mahant Swami Maharaj, and Bhagwan Swaminarayan. In the mandir, I also see friends, all of whom are on the same spiritual journey and all of whom try every day to live by Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s words. And I see the murtis — images — of Bhagwan Swaminarayan and his spiritual successors. And in that moment, I feel peace.

“In the joy of others lies our own, In the progress of others rests our own, In the good of others abides our own, Know this to be the key to happiness.” Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s words have so much meaning, in so many different ways and in all the different contexts of our lives. If we embrace these words in the way that he asked, our impact on the people we love and the people around us has the potential to be exponentially powerful. We can be free of so many of our personal conflicts and petty struggles. These words call upon us, each time we engage one another, to think about how we can heal and unify, not hurt and divide. My own journey on this path is evolving. If I fail to remember Pramukh Swami Maharaj in moments of distress, then I just simply fail. But when I summon thoughts of my guru and his words, I find the inspiration to do what he asked me to do: abandon my anger and embrace patience; discard my petty jealousies and celebrate the victories of others; refuse to turn a blind eye to someone in need and volunteer charity; surrender my grievances and offer forgiveness. And in doing this, I know I have myself experienced joy, I hope that I might have fostered joy in others, and I pray that I brought joy to my beloved guru Pramukh Swami Maharaj.

Rakesh Patel, Washington, DC
Attorney