Bharatanatyam — Devotional Dance

2019 was the year that I had waited to experience for so long! College campus visits and senior year events were just around the corner. Recognizing that in just twelve months, my friends and I would probably be at different colleges and pursuing different careers, I was excited to create some lifelong memories. I still vividly remember discussing dream colleges at the school lunch table, debating which university would be the best fit for me. We even planned a hangout to celebrate everyone’s success on commitment day. Just like a typical high school student, I was initially excited to apply to colleges and finally see all the hard work pay off. “It will be worth it,” became a common saying as I, alongside my friends, often sacrificed social activities and sleep, hoping to be the ideal prospective college student. The excitement for new beginnings lasted for just about two weeks. Thereafter, I found myself struggling to balance the tedious application process along with my coursework. Each college had its own set of pros and cons, and I didn’t have any predetermined personal preferences. Will I thrive in a private college or a large public university? Do I want to move to another region or stay in close proximity to the comfort of my home? I quickly forced myself to learn the basic features of excel to keep track of essay prompts, scholarship opportunities, recommended test scores, deadlines, pros and cons, and characteristics of prospective students. Writing essays turned into a monotonous activity, as I isolated myself in a corner of my school’s library, simply trying to check it off my daily to-do list.

All this created an intense fear of academic competition, stirring a deep sense of insecurity within me. The admission rates of college acceptance were decreasing; the recommended score for standardized exams was increasing; limited students from each state were being accepted into programs. Suddenly, I felt as if my academic goals were just too far away! My purpose was unclear, and I felt overwhelmed with my workload. I wondered, “How will I find the time, motivation, and energy to accomplish all of this in just 6 months?” While I desired to be a highly productive and successful individual, I wasn’t moving closer to achieving my goals. My energy was consumed by worrying about the outcome of my efforts rather than the quality of my work. I was afraid of facing any type of failure, and anxiety stunted my progress.

College applications seemed to be like a marathon. Reaching the finish line of receiving admission into a college required patience and diligent effort, but it was just as crucial to focus on appreciating the current moments of life. Without finding a way to alleviate some stress, I knew that I would be trapped in a bubble filled with self-doubt and tension. I needed to engage in something that would allow me to stop contemplating the unknown.

Initially, I tried listening to Ted Talks on overcoming stress, following Instagram accounts related to mental health well-being, and speaking to friends. These activities provided me with temporary solutions; I would find positivity and energy to refocus for a few hours, only to wake up feeling stressed the next morning. I longed for sustained positivity and gratitude to align my goals with my true identity, which seemed unclear at the time.

One morning, while frantically searching for an outfit, I came across my ghungroos (traditional dance anklets) hidden in the back of my closet. My ghungroos were always precious to me because they symbolized my love for dance.

The taal (dance rhythm) — taka dhimi, taka dhimi — began playing in my mind. At the age of five, when I began learning the Indian classical dance form known as Bharatanatyam, taka dhimi, taka dhimi was the first taal that I heard. I recalled how the soreness of my legs and arms from rigorous movements had suddenly vanished when the soles of my feet first hit the dance mat in harmony with the taal. My heart had surged with excitement, knowing that I had just learned the first step of Bharatanatyam! Initially, my motivation to learn dance stemmed from a desire to participate in an extracurricular activity, but very quickly, my passion for it became resolute. Sunday morning practices allowed me to explore Bharatanatyam further. I was in my element, oblivious to any distractions while I danced. The commitment of eight years of training, physical exhaustion, and challenge in perfecting the dance steps all seemed to be a worthwhile journey.

This sudden emotional yearning prompted me to return to this beloved dance form to find solace. I decided to schedule fifteen minutes every morning to dance. Fearing it would take away from the time that I had set aside to study, I was skeptical about making this change at first. Moreover, for the past three years, I had only occasionally practiced Bharatanatyam, so I wasn’t confident in having the stamina to perform each movement gracefully. Despite all of this, Bharatanatyam just seemed to be the only feasible adjustment, as I was eager to forget the world through dance and re-establish my forgotten connection. I felt ready to wear my ghungroos and embrace change.

Alone in my basement, prior to any activity, I focused on escaping my fears and anxieties of the unknown. With each breath and beat, I introspected the purpose of each of my movements. It struck me how I had been dancing for 12 years, but I had never fully appreciated the true essence of the art. The steps weren’t just to be performed, but were immersive- grounded in pure love and coupled with a divine connection. I gradually began igniting my spiritual capacity with each taal. Through each mudra (hand gesture), bhava (expression), and dance step, I strived to focus on experiencing the everlasting bliss of being near God, setting the complexities of the world aside. By depicting blossoming flowers and the elements of the universe, I was reminded that the world is beautiful. By expressing emotions such as compassion, courage, and peace, I received clarity on my core values. Performing the dance called Pushpanjali, in which I offer flowers to God, affirmed surrendering my doubts and fears to a higher being. Dance became an assurance that I’m always protected and heard. I realized that trust in God’s plan would guide me towards living a purposeful life with a determined willpower.

Through this change in my daily routine, I learned the importance of focusing on the intent of my actions rather than the outcomes. Through daily introspection, I can focus on progress rather than perfection. Even when life does not go how we’ve planned, positivity and gratitude give us the inner strength to face any hardships. My guru Pramukh Swami Maharaj often said, “The means to solve misery in life is to offer prayers to God.” For me, this devotional message is reinforced daily through the art of Bharatanatyam. Unflinching faith in God’s actions will propel us to reach beyond our perceived limitations while experiencing an everlasting sense of peace.

Now, as a college student, the timeless wisdom of Hinduism — shown through Bharatanatyam — continues to guide me in all aspects of life. Although I am currently living in Florida, away from the comfort of dancing in my home basement, I still experience the same bliss of being near God during my daily dance practices in my college dorm. After 14 years of dancing, taka dhimi, taka dhimi is now more than just a dance rhythm. It is a reminder of my potential, a source of my strength, and a symbol of my connection with God.

If there’s a will, there’s always a way to live a well-balanced spiritual life. The approach may be different, but the goal of experiencing stability remains consistent for all. I challenge you to find your version of dance! Engage in an activity that allows you to introspect every day. Perhaps, that’s cooking, reading, or going to the gym. Regardless of the activity, daily introspection and prayer will allow us to remain focused on our ambitious goals without feeling burnout, especially when life throws a curveball.

Mahima Dave, Student in Public Health
Chicago, IL