Published in MuddyUm·PinnedMember-onlyYour Mockery Will Never Stop Me From Honing My CraftI am my craft, my craft is me — I am deeply dedicated to my craft. Every night, I work into the wee hours of the night — honing my craft. I’m an artisan, a visionary. My muse is the human essence. My materials? Some say my materials are crude. …Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·PinnedMember-onlyGod Smites a DumbassBeing a prick is a sin — When I pulled into my driveway last night, I saw an angel bathed in light standing on my doorstep. I waved as I approached the porch. Angel: Greetings, Kristen. I’m an angel sent here from heaven. Kristen: Cool. Can you help me bring in the groceries? Angel: What? No, I…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·PinnedMember-onlyGrammarly Banned Me. Are You Next?A warning to all writers — I awoke at 11 AM to the ominous sound of a knock at my front door. Wrapping a robe over my “I Love Pancakes” nightgown, I hurried down the stairs. I opened the door to find a well-groomed man in a crisp suit. “Hello, are you Kristen?” the man inquired. …Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published in Everything Fun·2 days agoMember-onlyMeet Kristen StarkBut why on earth would you want to? — WHO does your acronym say you are? K = Kind, most of the time R = Resilient I = Interested in people S = Sarcastic T = Thoughtful E = Expressive N = Nutty I tried to get out of doing the acronym because it pains me to be serious. The Everything Fun Squad encouraged me to…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Dec 6Member-onlyI’m a Car Air Freshener. My Owner’s Road Rage Gave Me PTSDThis is my story — I used to have hopes and dreams. I remember the day she picked me. She walked down the car accessories aisle at Target and dropped me into her red shopping cart. She chose me among so many other options. I was ecstatic. I had never felt so alive! HA. What…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Nov 14Member-onlyIs it Cake? Take the Challenge!Not gonna lie. This story goes off the rails — Is it Cake is a popular game show on Netflix. In this delightful competition, contestants bake cakes that look like common objects. The goal is to get the judges to pick the object instead of the real cake. Shall we try a similar game here on Medium, dear readers? Please…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in The Haven·Nov 3Member-onlyLocal Woman Doesn’t Give a Shit When Celebrities DieThere are no exceptions — Local woman Angie Belton is causing an uproar. When a famous person dies, she doesn’t care. According to Angie, there are no exceptions. From mild to mega fame, her reaction (or lack thereof) to celebrities’ deaths remains constant. The people of our town are horrified. We here at WBTV News…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Everything Fun·Oct 26Member-onlyThe Shortest Scary Stories You’ve Ever Read in Your Stupid Life10 of them, to be exact — Welcome Ghoul Enthusiasts! Ready to be scared shitless? Or not exactly scared but more like “wow, this made me dumber”? Then read on… if you dare. 10 Scary Stories — 13 words each As I transformed into a werewolf, the librarian scolded me. “No pets allowed!” I drank the witch’s eerie potion as she leered. …Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
Published in 100 Stories by 100 Writers·Oct 12Member-only#35 — Don’t Believe the Lies: The Truth Behind My Social Media PostsOh, the tangled webs we weave — Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. These social media platforms can help us to connect with friends and family. Unfortunately, there is a dark side. Sometimes, people pretend their lives are perfect, but they are LYING. I, too, am guilty of creating masterful illusions online. Here, I will share some of my social…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Oct 6Member-onlyIs Your Kid Ready to Join The Children of the Corn?We’re recruiting! — Karate. Dance. Soccer. We get it. There are tons of choices when it comes to choosing an activity for your child. Ask yourself though… are you looking for more? How about a community that offers teamwork, problem-solving, and bloodlust? Check out The Children of the Corn! As a member of…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
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